9: Kommentar: Introduction
11: Essay: How to Make Millions in the Art Market Without Leaving Your Home
13: Essay: You Ain't Helthy Until You Throw Up
15: Essay: The Perniciousness of Dogs and Bugs
18: Essay: The Tech We Don't Need
20: Essay: The Meaning of Life
22: Essay: Those Who Live in Plastic Houses
24: Essay: Weather it Makes a Difference or Not
27: Essay: The Instantaneousness of Bad
30: Essay: The Immateriality of the Original
33: Essay: Touchdown! (Batteries Not Included)
36: Essay: I, for One, Welcome Our (Insert Programming Here)
39: Essay: Comic Art: an Oxymoron?
41: Essay: We Are All Art
44: Essay: We're all Furrys at Heart (Even the Bald Guys)
47: Essay: Getting a Buzz from Woody
49: Essay: Fallacies of Advertising #8C (Eight Cyclinders)
52: Essay: Pastafauteuils, with Fruits
54: Essay: Artistic Obsession
57: Essay: The Art and/or Science of Travel
62: Essay: Of Diseases and Wheezes
65: Essay: Jihadi MTV
68: Essay: How to Create a Successful New TV Series (In One Column)
71: Essay: In the Eye of the Froot Loop
73: Essay: Don't Bach Down
75: Essay: Meeting Our Holidays Coming
78: Essay: The Art of Calling a Parade
81: Essay: Weather or Not
84: Essay: Leash or Lease?
86: Essay: The Tao of Mix-ins
89: Essay: Escape
91: Essay: Chains
93: Essay: Charge!
95: Essay: The Reading of Pictures
97: Essay: The Science of (Selling) Sleep
100: Essay: Rise of the Pod People
103: Essay: Planet of the Coywolves
105: Essay: Do Android Cats Dream of Electric Mice?
108: Essay: Get Wood
110: Essay: Is it Art or Is it Digital?
112: Essay: A Few Mild Shocks
115: Essay: An Uber Simpsons Couch Gag (Sort Of)
118: Essay: Pixels and Doodles
121: Essay: Science... or Industry?
123: Essay: The Singularity May be Squishy
125: Essay: Set in Stone
128: Essay: Enter: Backwards
130: Essay: When Sometimes it's Better Not to Leave Well Enough Alone
133: Essay: The Distancing has Begun
135: Essay: Planetary Appropriation
137: Essay: Everything's Hometown
139: Essay: Glassy-eyed
141: Essay: Disney Versus the Death Channels
144: Essay: Stravinsky: Dinosaurs Optional: Part I
147: Essay: Stravinsky: Dinosaurs Optional: Part II
150: Essay: Inka-dinka-do-You... and Me
152: Essay: Everybody Was Here
154: Essay: The Aesthetics of Gurgle
157: Essay: Nostalgia or Art?
160: Essay: The Tao of Pussyfoot
162: Essay: The Blue Raspberry of Forgetfulness
165: Essay: The Robots are Coming, and They Have Broccoli!
168: Essay: Who Steals Unsellable Art?
170: Essay: Your Science Conspiracies May Be Charged at a Higher Rate
173: Essay: Have Your Cake and Shoot it Up, Too
175: Essay: Excavating a Drink of Water
178: Essay: (He)art Beats and Flowers
180: Essay: Science and Silence
183: Essay: Adrenaline Low
186: Essay: Go Pound Rocks
189: Essay: Depth Perception
192: Essay: Does History Anoint Your Taste?
195: Essay: The Taste of Nothing
198: Essay: The Death of Western Civilization
201: Essay: Faster Processor, Same Hard Drive
204: Essay: Get a Horse (If You Want to Drive)
206: Essay: The Death of Film
209: Essay: You Dealer and Mine
212: Essay: Farewell to the 17th Century: Class is in Session
215: Essay: Architecture for Hoomans
217: Essay: Rise of the YGPs
220: Essay: Mona Lisa Simpson
223: Essay: Symphony + Metal = Symphonic Metal
225: Essay: How Microsoft Got Started, and Other Adult Fairy Tales
228: Essay: Art Theft, Thives Bereft
230: Essay: That Sinking Feeling
233: Essay: Critical Mess
236: Essay: CV Baby, You're Driving Me Crazy
239: Essay: Planet of the Unrepurposers
241: Essay: Of Note
244: Essay: Science?
246: Essay: When Pigs Fly
249: Essay: The Decpticons
252: Essay: The Buzz
255: Essay: The Mouse and Me
258: Essay: Metal Can be Funny
261: Essay: Refrigeration Relativity
264: Essay: Algorithm for the Deceased
267: Essay: Wither Weather?